Lost and Found in 2020
I began 2020 with an idea I called “2020 Equals 40 Events.” I like themes. To me, they make life feel more fun. ...And then COVID happened.
I began 2020 with an idea I called “2020 Equals 40 Events.”
I like themes. To me, they make life feel more fun.
One year I wore yellow every day for an entire summer and called it “My Yellow Summer.” It even came to the point that my phone would buzz periodically with notifications from friends all over who had taken photos of themselves in yellow. I smiled as I saw the #MyYellowSummer hashtag show up under their beautiful photos.
I didn’t know about chakras back then and how yellow is the color of the solar plexus and one’s internal power. At the time, I had recently divorced, and my self-esteem was extremely low. In the early stages of “My Yellow Summer”, I found myself frequently visiting my daughter in Washington, DC.
Intrinsically, I felt called to paint my nails yellow...and really that was what started it all. Something in me felt empowered that day-more than I had in a long time. The yellow tones of that summer gave me hope for the future and to close the summer out, I had a party and invited my friends to wear yellow to celebrate with me.
I started this new chapter by going to museum exhibits, lectures, concerts, and movie premieres. I wanted to showcase our city and encourage women to learn to have fun on their own.
...And then COVID happened. I was already uneasy because of the loss of income from resigning in the fall of 2019. My yoga studio was seeing fewer numbers from when I first opened in Fall 2018. However, there was a small light at the end of the tunnel. I was looking forward to hosting my first cohort of yoga teacher trainees. Money was tight...extremely tight. I found myself stewing in my nerves and anxiety. I found myself questioning if I had made the right decision to quit my job. On Friday, March 13, 2020, I sat in my office and let myself fall apart and cry.
Dawn M. Rivers, Lost and Found in 2020
The state of Ohio started closing down businesses and putting in orders for people to stay at home. I decided to close the studio temporarily before the mandate came from the state. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had not planned for this.
That morning, I sent an email out to the Daybreak Yoga community saying we were closing, and that I would be online with classes starting Tuesday, March 17th. Up until that time, I was already down one teacher and was teaching 70% of our classes in-studio without the extra support. Facing reality, I realized I would be teaching 100% of them online. Eventually, one of my two teachers agreed to teach online from her home.
Teaching Online
Stressed is an understatement. I didn’t know what I was doing or really how to teach yoga online. It was hard to envision the future. Hard to see my way through let alone out.
Daybreak Yoga is in a working-class neighborhood of Bedford, Ohio, where yoga is known as “stretching exercise”. But, my purpose in choosing this location was to bring healing practices to those who needed it most. I was passionate about sharing what I learned with others to help them heal and grow. With the pandemic, it felt as though I lost all of that. I was breaking down. Fear was living with me every day. Sleep evaded me. Doubt had me shackled to failure.
Friends, teachers, and relationships were lost because of this pandemic.
Income, resources, and hope were lost because of this pandemic.
Lives, livelihoods, and love were lost because of this pandemic.
Then the Black Lives Matter Movement exploded with the death of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. People all over the world noticed the injustices in America. I was asked to share my opinion, be an ambassador, collaborate with other yoga teachers, and folks wanted to support black-owned businesses. My business.
I was awarded three scholarships this pandemic: advance yoga teacher training, meditation training, best practices for yoga teachers. I connected with the yoga community again but as a student. I learned new ways to meditate. I started to move my body again under the instruction of an international yoga who I admire. I was reminded of my own story of why I came to yoga in the first place. It saved my life, again.
I found hope again.
I found my way out.
I found new community.
I remembered my purpose.
I remembered my smile.
I remembered hope.
This pandemic has been relentless, and it has shown me that I am resilient. My community has expanded. My resources have, too. What I learn, I share. That has always been my goal as a yoga teacher, a wellness practitioner.
Originally written for Scare Your Soul’s Lost and Found in 2020 Challenge.
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